


Happiness

by EHeartAngel



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 16:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14024652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHeartAngel/pseuds/EHeartAngel





	Happiness

YEP, have fun with this one. BECAUSE I SURE DID(N’T). 

—++— 

“What th’ hell are you still doing here, Etsu? You should’ve gone with Souji and Kondo-san to Osaka!”

Etsu ignored his blood-stained blue haori and tightly wrapped her arms around him, feeling his warmth, listening to his heartbeat. Just feeling his presence, that he was _alive._

Shinpachi sighed and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer when he felt her tears on his bare chest. He honestly never knew what to do when a woman cried. “Ma, I’m here now, so…don’t cry…” He took her face in his large hands and wiped away her tears, kissing her forehead. “Na?”

She shook her head and placed her hands on his. “Shin…I was so afraid you weren’t going to come back…I was afraid…” She sobbed and he sighed, pulling her into his strong arms again.

“Do you know who you’re talkin’ to? I’m the Shinsengumi Captain of the Second Division, Nagakura Shinpachi!” He sat down and placed her in his lap. “I don’t go down easy without a fight!”

She managed to giggle at him as he flexed his biceps. “Yes, Shin, you’re right!”

“Shinpachi.”

They turned to hear Sano’s voice coming from outside. “Ah? What is it?”

“Hijikata-san wants to have a meeting about tomorrow’s battle. Shouldn’t take long.”

Shinpachi sighed and tightened his green bandanna, and gave his beloved a grin. “I’ll be right back, Etsu.”

She nodded, sighing a bit, making herself comfortable. Her hands wrapped around her middle, as if she were trying to protect it. No, she had to. She wanted to. She’d visited a doctor with Chizuru earlier in the day and received some news.

Etsu wasn’t sure how or when she should tell Shinpachi. War was breaking out, and if he found out, would he want to leave? Would he make her leave? What would happen?

She stewed for a bit before getting up to set the futon. She had every intention of staying the night with him. She knew she wasn’t supposed to, but…the thought of being away from him after such a day…

Her heart had been in her throat all day, anxiety had been eating away at her, wondering if he was coming back. If the others were coming back. Every time she heard sounds of war, she feared the worst.

The shoji door slid open, and she immediately looked up, noticing a very pensive look on his face. His brows were furrowed, thinking deeply about something. He took off his swords and leaned them against the wall. He’d gotten rid of his blood-stained haori and clothes, and even washed off the dried blood.

“…Shin? Is everything okay?”

His bright blue eyes snapped over to her, and he gave her a slight smile. “Of course it is! We just discussed tomorrow’s strategy to run off the Satchō bastards. It’ll be great!” He sat next to her on the futon, wrapping an arm around her waist, nuzzling his face into her neck. “It’ll be fine…” He murmured, more to himself than her. He lifted his head and met her lips hungrily, passionately.

“Shin…” She said breathlessly. “I’m not leaving tonight.”

“And I don’t want you to.” He pulled at her obi, eager to meet her skin underneath her light blue kimono. “I want you to stay with me.”

“I love you, Shin. I love you so much.”

–

She helped him into a fresh haori. There was a comfortable silence between the two of them, but something else hung in the air. She didn’t know what it was.

Shinpachi pulled her in for another kiss. “…Etsu,”

Her brown eyes met his blue eyes. “Shin?”

“…I’m just saying this, y’know, in case, but I have no intention of leaving you, but no matter what happens to me, I want you to be happy.”

“You make me happy. You’re my happiness, Shin, so please come back to me. _Please.”_ She begged, pulling him down for another kiss. She couldn’t get enough of him.

“Ah. I will. I promise.”

They walked out to the common room, where everyone was gathered, ready to go. Chizuru stood in the back, hands clutched nervously. Etsu went to stand next to her, looking around the men, discussing final plans. Shinpachi looked so serious, so focused.

Finally, the group disbursed, and Shinpachi went over to her. He grinned at the pair of girls, who both wore worried expressions. “What’s with the long faces? We’re gonna win this!”

Etsu managed to smile back at him. She couldn’t bring it up, not now. She had faith that he’d return to her. When he did, she’d tell him. Nodding, she took his hands when he held them out. He gave them a squeeze, leaning in to give her a sweet kiss.

She watched his broad back as he walked away, already missing him.

–

The whole day, she spent it trying to busy herself with chores, any task she could get her hands on. After the first few times the cannons went off, she stopped jumping at the sound. She continued hoping, praying that everyone would come back. She wanted to tell him.

The sun was setting, and at long last, tired soldiers and captains were filing into the common room.

When Etsu heard noise, she rushed over, a slight wave of relief hitting her when she saw Hiji-san, Sano-san, and Saitō-san file in. Her heart beat faster, palms starting to sweat as she tried to catch sight of the Second Division Captain that was nowhere to be found.

She ran up to Sano-san, fear washing over her, squeezing her heart. “Sano-san!” Her eyes started watering. “Where’s Shin?” She managed to choke out, but by the look on his sad expression, she already knew. “Where’s Shin?!”

Shimada-san and another soldier placed a stretcher on the ground.

Etsu shook her head, rushing over, praying, _begging,_ that we was just injured. “Shin! Shinpachi!”

But he made no movement when she called out to him.

Kneeling down, she grabbed his hand in hers. “Nagakura Shinpachi!”

It was cold.

He was cold.

She touched his face, calling out, screaming his name, hoping he’d open his eyes and give her a grin and a poor joke about his injuries.

Her sobs overtook her, and she buried her face into her hands. “Shinpachi! You promised! You promised me!” Her hands balled up into fists, her nails biting painfully into her palms, but she couldn’t feel it. She could only feel the emptiness of his presence, the painful beat of her own heart, reminding her that she was alive and he was not.

Sanosuke finally walked over to her, gently trying to get her to her feet, but she fought him, saying that she wasn’t going to move. “Etsu,” He sighed quietly. “We don’t have a lot of time. We have to lay him to rest.”

Hijikata Toshizō clenched his fist. Some leader he was. He watched a loved one grieve over a comrade, a friend, a brother. It was on him. Her suffering, their suffering, everyone’s suffering was because of the choice he’d made. If he’d made the choice to retreat, this wouldn’t have happened…But Shinpachi had been prepared for this outcome. He knew the risk, and he had been prepared to lay his life down. They all knew it. She probably wouldn’t understand it, but he couldn’t blame her.

Chizuru finally came forward, wiping her own tears to help Etsu up. “You must rest, Etsu-chan. You know why.” She whispered.

Her friend’s words brought her back to reality. Nodding, she let Sano-san help her up, glancing once more at her beloved.

Sanosuke stayed with Etsu while Chizuru went to make some tea. Etsu, her tears still trickling down her cheeks as she leaned against his shoulder for support. His presence was a bit of comfort. Her hand was in his large one. Neither of them spoke, both lost in their own thoughts.

Chizuru came back with tea and a bit of porridge. “Etsu-chan, you need to eat something.”

She lightly shook her head, taking the cup of tea that her friend offered her.

“Etsu,” Chizuru took a breath. “You need to think about your baby.”

Sanosuke looked a tad surprised and his amber eyes shifted between the women. “…Baby?”

“She is with child. We only found out just yesterday morning.”

“…Did Shinpachi know?” Sanosuke squeezed her hand in an attempt to comfort her.

Shaking her head, she set her tea down. “…I wasn’t able to…I was going to tell him today…but…” She didn’t know what to do. Her beloved was gone. She’d abandoned her family to be with Shinpachi, and there was no way they’d take her back especially with a child. She’d refused to marry the chosen suitor and had run away after she’d fallen in love with Shinpachi. But now…where could she go?

Sanosuke patted her back, a pensive look on his handsome face. “…I have to speak with Hijikata-san. I’ll return in a while. Chizuru, look after her.”

She nodded and continued to try to get her to eat a bit of the porridge she’d brought.

–

Etsu had tired herself out, and had managed to eat a bit, much to Chizuru’s relief. She was resting on the futon for now.

The shoji door slid quietly and Sanosuke stepped into the room, a determined look on his face.

Etsu stirred and sat up slightly when she heard the door open. “Sano-san?”

“Ah, Chizuru, do you think I could have a moment with Etsu?”

“Of course. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Chizuru cleared the tray and took it back to the kitchen with her.

Rubbing her eyes, Etsu blinked a few times and looked at him as he sat next to her. “Sano-san?”

“…Look…Before we charged out, Shinpachi came to me and asked me to look after you if something happened to him. I never could’ve imagined it…but here we are.” Sighing, he took her hand in his. “And I intend to keep that promise I made to Shinpachi. You don’t have anywhere to go, do you?”

Etsu looked down, shaking her head. Who could accept a woman with a child?

“Then come with me.”

Her brown eyes widened in surprise. “…Sano-san, I-I can’t…I’m…I…”

“I’m not tellin’ you to devote yourself to me. Just let me care for you and the little one. Let me look after you.” Brown met amber.

“…What about the Shinsengumi?”

Chuckling lightly, he shrugged. “I already spoke to Hijikata-san. I’m retiring. I told him what I intended to do and he just wished me luck.”

“Sano-san…I couldn’t possibly ask you to…do such a thing for me…”

“Etsu, I’m doing it for you and my best friend, my brother. Let me honor his final wish.”

—

_Five years later._

“Shinichi! Oi!” Sanosuke followed after the dark haired boy with bright blue eyes.

Etsu giggled as she finished hanging up the last bit of laundry, watching the tall, red-haired man struggle to chase a speedy five-year old Shinichi. Ever since he’d learned to walk and run, neither could get a moment’s rest. He loved chasing after frogs and all sorts of creatures that both flew and crawled on the ground, much to his mother’s horror. “Shinichi! Come back here!” She walked forward, and he ran right into her arms.

“Mama! A flower for you!” He held out his little palm with a small, white flower.

“It’s lovely, my son, thank you.” She kissed his cheek and the pair looked back at Sanosuke, who was catching his breath. “You’re getting older, Sano.”

He let out a bark of laughter, shaking his head. “I let him get ahead of me.” He came forward, enveloping the both of them in his arms.

Etsu brushed her nose against her son’s and set him down, letting him run free once more. The pair stood there, watching him as he crouched down to observe some ants. “He’s growing up more everyday.”

Sanosuke nodded in agreement, taking her hand in his large one. “Ah. That’s for sure.”

They remained silent for a moment.

“He looks like him, doesn’t he?”

“He does.”

Etsu looked back at her husband, a small smile on her lips. “Thank you for everything, Sano…You’re raising Shinichi as your own.”

“He is, as is the one in here.” He placed his hand on her middle.

At first, they comforted each other over Shinpachi’s death. After Shinichi was born, and Sanosuke had held him for the first time, he vowed to him and to Etsu that he would raise the boy as his own.

Slowly, their friendship grew into something more, though it took a while for either to realize it. Sanosuke remained quiet about it, out of respect for his friend and for Etsu.

It took a very long time for her to confess what she felt for Sanosuke, but Shinpachi had told her to be happy. She’d found that happiness with Shinichi _and_ with Harada Sanosuke. He’d been hesitant to accept her feelings, but they were both honest people. They couldn’t deny their feelings for each other, or the attraction.

But there was still a part of her heart that belonged to Shinpachi. If there was another life, she’d want to spend it with him.


End file.
